https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akbQNCPWDS0&feature=share

sodomymcscurvylegs:

My Bank Account: Ummm… you’re in the negative…

Me: Ummm… I reblogged money Chihuahua, so jot that down…

(via nbcsmostwanted)

spikenards:

can you imagine being 26 years old and in marketing and you want to settle down with a rich stupid man who’s crazy about you and you FIND a divorcee who hasn’t talked to his ex in over a decade and has a very forgiving custody arrangement that would easily enable boarding school and is willing to MARRY you after a SIX TO EIGHT WEEK SUMMER ROMANCE with NO PRENUP and then his brat kid comes back from summer camp and it turns out his ESTRANGED OTHER TWIN DAUGHTER came back from camp and they hijack your entire life and put a lizard on you and then your hot old man ditches you for his hot mess of an ex WHO DESIGNED… THE CUSTOM WEDDING DRESS YOU HAD ALREADY PAID FOR. truly. a roller coaster summer…. all that scheming WASTED

(via charlie-burton)

goodson:

i wanna be friends with a crow but i know that wanting it means itll never happen. theyre too smart theyll smell my sweaty palms

(via callmejude)